Vox Pop

Upson?

Matthew Upson?

CARRICK?

(I understand Fabio phoned Sven’s one-time unknown quantity Theo Walcott while the player was at a golf course. Given his performance on Sunday, that does bring to mind the image of him running up to the tee with intent before swiping the ball into the crowd.)

I woke this morning at about half-5, due in part to some unusual dreams. Nothing violent or sexual or owt, though I could have done without close-up shots of me shaving in slow motion like some out-takes from an arty black-and-white Hungarian film. My morning showers always have Radio 4 in the background – yes, I wake up to Evan Davis – so this morning I had a bit of Farming Today, which introduced me to this hitherto unknown quango.

(Their slogan is hilarious, as it goes, I won’t ruin it for you….)

Why “Alliance”, though? Was there a split in the Salad & Greens Marketing Board? I only remember watercress as the standby science experiment introduced by bored or desperate primary school teachers, that they need a marketing board seems somewhat over ambitious. If there is any chance that someone can explain this to me, I am open to all information.

Bought a new laptop yesterday, and another wireless router. For the latter, a children’s television presenter served me with pound signs in her eyes (“Would you like to upgrade to the SuperSpensiveNoMoreReliable Package?” “…Bwuh?”)

I now await the “activation”. It all seems rather arbitrary. If my experience of office life is anything to go by, mind, I assume the headquarters of this particular ISP has one part-timer, a single in-tray, and a repressive clean desk policy.

The purchases (and drinking at Britain’s smallest pub, has made a dent in my finances (NO, I hear you shout, FOR THE FIRST TIME!). I will pledge, maybe even make moves towards enacting, as close to a detox month as I can…

….Trust me, I was a politician…..